Dreams...

Between the night of Dec. 10 and the morning of Dec. 11, 2006 I had a dream.

First, I woke up and saw a black figure by my window, something that disturbed me and frightened me. But as I focused my eyes, that figured disappeared and I fell into a peaceful sleep, once more.

This is when my dream, or may I say dreams, started.

I had a dream where I was in a room visiting my sick grandmother, Mamama. First I was alone, talking to her and asking her to wait for me to come visit. Then Ryan was there with me, and he hugged my grandma as if he had known her forever. Then my family....

And then I got very sad because I had not been able to talk to Mamama or be with her as much as I would have liked during her sickness. I did get to say goodbye to her. A goodbye that was a like a hug that never wanted to end... So I started to talk to my grandmother in my mind. Asking her to forgive me for that. Telling her that I had a great life and that I was happy. Telling her that if she was in too much pain, that she should go to heaven... Then something inside me told myself that I was being stupid. Why was I wasting my time talking to someone that could not hear me... And then another part of me, a part of me that now i recognize as my other grandmother, Any, told me that was not true. That when she was sick, she was able to hear my thoughts because she was already a spirit (there's a reference to this in my post 'Prayer' below), and Mamama was already a spirit too. And as I had done once before, I told Mamama everything I wanted to tell her before she died.

At 7am that morning I received a call. Mamama passed away between 4-6am. She was smiling.